Dating violence information
Dating violence is characterized by patterns of abuse. The types of abuse that can create an unhealthy and violent relationship include physical abuse, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, spiritual abuse, and financial abuse.
A healthy relationship is surrounded by mutual respect, equality, trust communication, and freedom.
An unhealthy relationship is characterized by disrespect, fear, jealousy, and possessiveness. It often follows a cycle of violence which includes:
Tension (criticism, coercion) Violence (attacks, threats) Seduction (apologies, gifts)
Victims and abusers can be ANYBODY.
They are people we know and people we care about. Dating violence happens to girls and guys of any ethnicity, in both gay and straight relationships.
Traits of a victim:
Constantly cancels plans for reasons that don't sound true Always worries about making his/her boy/girlfriend angry Gives up things that are important Shows signs of physical abuse, like bruises or cuts Gets pressured into having sex
Traits of an abuser:
Insults his/her significant other in public Checks in on the other constantly Blows disagreements out of proportion Blames the other for his/her own problems Abuses drugs and/or alcohol
Why abusers abuse:
Abuse is a choice. Abusers know what they are doing and what they want. Abusers may lack control over their own life and attempt to control a partner to ease personal insecurities. Anger and violence may seem like a normal way to express frustration if the abuser was once a victim. They use excuses like, "I was having a bad day," and, "I didn't mean to hurt her/him."
Why victims stay:
Love: Deep feelings for the abuser, and believing the relationship isn't entirely bad Hope: Thinking things might change and get better Promises: Abusers promise the behavior will never happen again Guilt: Abusers may blame the victim as though it is his/her fault Low self-esteem: A victim may feel that he/she can do no better Fear: Worrying that threats will become a reality
Effects on Victims:
Depression and suicidal thoughts Eating disorders and unsafe weight loss Drug and alcohol abuse Medical problems Emotional and psychological trauma Inability to succeed in school or at work Post-traumatic stress disorder
Effects on Abusers:
Alienating friends and family Losing respect of peers Being alone Expulsion from school Losing a job Having a criminal record
Mi nombre es Ada M. Álvarez Conde, tengo 22 años y resido en Miami Florida. A los 16 años comencé a interesarme por el tema de la violencia en el noviazgo y las maneras para combatirla. Trabajé de voluntaria en el periódico estudiantil TINELLER; e hize un reportaje sobre lo mismo. Ese mismo año, basándome en experiencias personales e investigaciones comenzé a desarrollar mi pasión, la escritura en este tema. Se creó la novela: Lo que no dije. Estoy escribiendo la edición bilingue de la novela y editando mi poemario. Luego de trabajar por dos años la publiqué a los 19 convirtiéndome en la novelista más joven de Puerto Rico. Por medio de la internet, de crear conciencia sobre este problema, especialmente en sus inicios para evitar los accidentes. Actualmente estudio mi maestria en periodismo y espero que este site sirva para ayudar a crear un mundo de paz.
Este libro es un sueño para mí. Como escritora desde joven he ganado varios premios, pero entiendo que ninguno me complementa más que este porque es una obra inspirada en un problema social y así puedo ayudar a mi país; con este site al mundo. Quiero ayudar a las mujeres que están en el problema y darles herramientas a los que están alrededor de ellas para que las ayuden. Este es mi granito de arena. Ayúdame a demostrar que una persona puede cambiar el mundo. Dicen que el que calla otorga y espero profundamente que apoye mi novela y este site, para que muchos lean LO QUE NO DIJE y salgan de la soledad, del maltrato y sobretodo del silencio. Si quieres la novela visita www.loquenodije.com
y para el quiz.
gracias!
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